The Alone and the Lonely
by The Romanticidal Edwardian
Summary: THE ONE-SHOT. Written for Jayeliwood's "Sexy Edward" contest. Edward is a movie star with a haunted past. He meets a girl in a book store, and can she save him from his misery?


**Sexy Edward Contest:**

**Title: The Alone and the Lonely**

**by ****The Romanticidal Edwardian**

**Type of Edward: Super Star (& a tad 'Emo' I suppose)**

**Character Type: Tried to make them as IC as possible, but could be considered OC**

**Story Type: All Human**

**POV: Edward and some third person**

**If you are interested in becoming a part of this contest, please contact:**

**Jayeliwood (at) yahoo (dot) com **

**If you would like to see all the stories that a part of this contest visit**

**Jayeliwood's profile page and visit her favorite stories.**

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It is strange to be known so universally and yet to be so lonely.

Albert Einstein

I personally curse the human affinity for water, and our need to drink it. I could barely walk around the town without being recognized as it was without having to go into a store - where, of course, a woman resided behind the counter. It wasn't arrogance that made me think that if she recognized me, I would be assaulted - it was just that I had dealt with it far too many times in the past.

I hesitated outside the door, able to look through the clear panes surrounding the coffee shop with an overwhelming wariness. I kept my head ducked though, hiding myself and my face under my combination of a baseball cap and my sweat shirt's hood pulled up. I peeked up through my fringe of hair sometimes, wondering if it was really worth it. But I'd been walking around the city all day without having eaten anything, or stopping to get a drink either. And I'd done my fair share of ducking out of sight and running through back alleys too; I'd come far too close to being recognized several times today.

But I loved walking around the streets of Hollywood, and the surrounding areas. It wasn't so much the location - this was just something I'd always done, even when I was young. Things were so much simpler then. I could've walked with my head held high, just breathing in the air and absorbing the noises of everything around me, wearing shorts and a t-shirt. How I missed that.

My parched throat and gnawing thirst finally decided my nervous diddle-daddling. Taking a deep breath, I walked in to the shop, keeping my head tucked. Next to the counter was a little cover-less refrigerated collection of shelves, with things like cut up fruit salads in plastic containers, and bottles of apple juice, expensive sodas, and bottled waters, if coffee wasn't really what you were wanting that day.

I scrambled to hurriedly grab a random bottle of water and place it on the counter, already pulling out my wallet and grabbing three or so bucks, keeping my head down.

The cashier rang it up, and I had a feeling she wasn't even really looking at me, from the way she lazily chewed and popped her gum - I'd guess she was bored of this job.

"That'll be 2. 37, sir," she said drolly, the boredom making itself evident in her voice.

I'm so stupid. I know this. But I couldn't help it. Out of habit - just pure habit - I glanced up to look at the little glowing numbers on the cash register, informing the customer of the price. That's just something I'd always done. I cursed myself as I realized my mistake, and ducked my head back down.

Too late.

"Hey..." she said slowly. "You look awfully familiar..." Panicked, I shoved the money at her, hoping to distract her with having to do her job.

It worked for a minute as she said 'Oh' in surprise and started making change - until she noticed my other mistake.

I'd left my wallet open in my hand from when I'd pulled out the three dollars from before - with my driver's licence sitting proudly front and center in it's clear container. I snapped it shut hurriedly and shoved it in my pocket. But the damage was done.

"OH MY GOD!" she shrieked, causing me to jump backwards a little. "OH MY GOD! YOU'RE EDWARD MASEN! AHHHHHHHHH! YOU WERE SOOOOOOOOOOOO BRILLIANT IN 'BATMAN' AND IN 'ROMEO AND JULIET' AND ISN'T YOUR NEW MOVIE COMING OUT SOON!? AHHHHHHHH!"

Damn it. Damn it all to hell. I switched my exasperated gaze to the bottled water still sitting on the counter - forget the sixty-three cents, I'd live - and snatched it up, turning on my heel only to meet the crowd of everybody else in the coffee shop, standing up and converging toward me.

"Edward!" one of the girls yelled. "I love you so much!! Will you marry me??"

"Hey Masen!" yelled some guy. "I'm trying to become an actor too, can you give me some tips, I - "

"Hey, aren't you going to be getting an Oscar this year!? That's so - "

"I love your movies man!! Awesome!"

"Hey! Hey! Look toward me, and smile for the camera!" A bright flashbulb went off somewhere to my right.

Ah fuck. Paparazzi. Where had they even _come _from? But there always seemed to be someone following me without my knowledge.

I had to get out of here. I ducked my head and just started running, startling the growing crowd that was even starting to attract people on the streets attention. I threw open the door, the annoying bell ringing, before I just started pounding my feet on the pavement - faster, faster. If there was one thing I was good at, it was running.

People said acting too, and I guess if they thought so, okay. I don't even know what possessed me to become an actor. I mean, I really did love the job. I liked actually _acting._ I loved being able to be somebody else and leave my body for a few hours a day. Glad that I didn't have to be _me _all the time. It helped appease the self-loathing I had acquired after my mother died. My father had died not too long after I was born, so I'd never missed him. But my mother...oh, I had done such wrong by her. After she left, I was driven to acting even more, because I just couldn't stand _myself _anymore. The publicity was worth it if I could just escape the pain, the memories, the _hate._

**\/Flashback\/**

The boy was newly eighteen the day he started scouring his room, looking for the things he wanted to pack. It was the summer before college, and all he wanted was to go on a road trip with his friends. Seemed simple enough. He didn't think his mother would have a problem with it.

His mother, Elizabeth, had different ideas, as it would turn out.

She walked into his room, puzzled at to what all the ruckus was. Why things sounded like they were being shifted, clothes scattered all over the floor, everything in disarray, with two suitcases lying open and half-full on the rumpled bed sheets.

"What...what is this Edward?" she asked slowly, and he looked up from stuffing his keyboard in it's case.

"Huh?" he asked. "Oh...well me and some friends were going to do some travelling this summer." He shrugged. "No big deal."

Her brow furrowed at him. "And when were you planning on telling me?" she demanded, putting her hands on her hips.

"Soon," he said dismissively. "I'll be back before college starts, I promise."

"Young man," she snapped. "I don't know how old you think you are, but you don't just get to make these kind of decisions on your own. And especially without talking to me or...or anything! What did you think you were going to do? Just pack and go? No informing me, no setting this up and planning out, no contingency plan? If you wanted to do this, you should've told me and started planning it months ago. As it stands now, I'm not going to let you go. There's too much you could get up to, you're not old enough, or mature enough. Sex, drugs...at least wait until after college. You'll be home free then," she said sarcastically.

He looked at her, horror struck. "No mom," he stammered. "We already planned this. I _have _to go. I swear we won't get up to no good, and we'll be too busy with college soon to go do _anything_. This is our chance."

"I said no," she said angrily. "I can't believe this of you Edward. You're usually so much more mature."

"Exactly!" he shouted. "I am mature! I can do this! And I'm eighteen mom. I'm an adult."

"You're also living under _my_ roof," she said pointedly.

Edward froze and just glared at her for several long minutes. She gazed evenly back.

Finally, Edward's expression melted and formed into a smile. He rejoiced in his mother's shocked expression. "You're right mom," he said submissively. "I am living under your roof, which means I follow your rules."

He watched as she narrowed her eyes suspiciously. "Yes..." she said slowly.

He shrugged, setting down his keyboard, and said nothing. He could tell she was still suspicious but she left the room. His eyes flashed.

He moved out that very same week. And not even in the same city. He moved out of Chicago completely, and left no contact information.

He just kept running farther and farther away until he hit California, and started his career with small indie movies, quickly rising to fame.

**\/End Flashback\/ **

I panted as I skidded to a stop, finally, down a crowd less street. There had been quite a few hard core fans and paparazzi that had given me one hell of a chase. But I was fairly certain of my aloneness now.

Unscrewing the bottled water - which I _had _kept - I took a deep chug of it, hoping to douse my throat and drown the arid fire starting in it. It was hurting to breathe.

I downed the whole thing quickly, surprised at how thirsty I was. Suppose it was pretty expected though. With a deep sigh, I tossed the empty bottle into a garbage can in front of the store I was standing before. For the first time, I noticed that it was a book store.

I glanced around me wearily. No doubt the paparazzi would be making their appearance again before too long. You could never escape them for long.

I ducked into the book store without a moment's hesitation after that. It looked to be completely empty. There wasn't even someone behind the counter right now. A door was open behind it, an orange light flooding through, so I guessed someone was back there.

I started flitting behind the shelves hurriedly, hoping to stay out of sight. My cap had fallen off some time ago, so now all I had was my hood. I pulled it forward as far as I could and continued to browse.

I actually loved reading. Books, stories...like acting, they allowed me to escape myself.

I started scanning titles, smiling at the ones I recognized, deciding if I was curious enough to look at the ones I didn't. My fingers slid across the spines as I walked. I was at a corner of the store now.

"Ow!"

Something soft was underneath my foot, and it screamed as I stepped down. Hurriedly, I retracted it, looking down at the woman who sat on the floor, surrounded by books, an open one in her lap. Currently, she was cradling the hand I'd just stepped on.

"Oh no!" I groan, bending down quickly. "Excuse me miss, I am _so _sorry. Are you okay?"

She looked up at me with wide brown eyes and it was then that I remembered who I was. And that she had a perfect, full on view of my face. I mentally cringed in anticipation to another chase.

But she didn't scream or anything. She just looked at me, a pull of pain to her mouth. She looked like she didn't recognize me at all.

A bubble of hope swelled in my chest.

"It's okay," she said quietly, shaking out her hand. "You're not the first to not notice me. I've been stepped on quite a few times." She smiled brilliantly at me, as if that confession wasn't weird or sad at all. She looked down at her book, and continued reading, expecting me to move along, I suppose.

It struck me that maybe I should've, but despite myself, I was intrigued to sit down beside her. She was the first person I'd met in a while, other than my co-workers, that hadn't reacted cringe-worthy to the sight of me.

I felt normal.

"I really am sorry," I apologized sincerely again. "Nothing's broken or anything, right?"

She looked up at me in surprise, like she was wondering what the hell I was still doing here, and why I wouldn't leave her alone. "No," she said, her voice revealing her shock a little. "It might be bruised, but I bruise easily, so no worries."

I frowned, and looked down guiltily. To my surprise, _she _patted _my _hand. "It's okay," she said. She carefully marked her page in the book in her lap and closed it delicately, setting it in front of her. "I'm Bella, by the way."

I smiled. "That's a pretty name," I complimented, and she blushed. It looked very good on her. It brought out the cherry of her lips, the deep brown of her hair and her eyes. For the first time, I noticed that she was absolutely gorgeous. "I'm Edward," I greeted.

She held out her hand to shake mine. "Well hello Edward, Stepper-Onner-of-Hands. What brings you to this little book store?"

Her hand was warm and soft in my own. I shrugged. "Hiding," I admitted, and she smirked a little.

"I'm just going to go ahead and safely assume that I don't want to know."

I smiled. "Probably." I looked at the book on the floor in front of her, and my eyes widened. "High five fellow Harry Potter fan!" I laughed, holding my hand up. She slapped it, giggling as well.

"It's awesome, isn't it?" she said excitedly, her eyes lighting up. "I'm so depressed that the series is over. And that people are moving on to other stupid books, like this new one called...erm...I don't even know. But it's stupid. It's about vampires, or something. Which was cool on Buffy, but this...no. I can't believe people are moving on..."

It was an adorable little rant, and when she stopped, she blushed. Perhaps she thought she'd said too much, revealed too much of herself to a stranger. But she was very easy to talk to, and it pleased me that she seemed to find me the same way. Either that, or she always defended the series like this. I know I did.

"Twilight," I said quietly, grinning a little. My upcoming gig. I wondered how she would react if she knew.

She made a face. "Yeah."

She looked up at me. "You know, you kind of look like Cedric Diggory."

I froze. I _had _played Cedric. I wondered if this was her way of letting me know that she knew exactly who I was; or maybe she was just voicing an innocent opinion. I shrugged, uncomfortable, and decided to find out the answer.

"So...erm...seen any good movies lately?" I asked, feeling edgy.

She smiled, and shook her head. "I don't really watch movies," she said. "I just read. This," she waved her hand around, gesturing to the book store around us, "Is my movie theater."

That was a comfort. Maybe she _hadn't _recognized me then.

"You come here a lot?" I asked shrewdly. I'd never even heard of this place before, but she treated it like home. And it seemed pretty cozy, had a nice selection. It looked like it'd be small from the outside, but it really wasn't. It even had two stories, I noticed.

She nodded, blushing. That was really starting to appeal to me. "Or I stay at home and read," she said, laughing in embarrassment. "I'm a dork."

I beamed.

We talked for hours, just sitting there and going through different books, comparing our opinions on them, discussing our lives in between. I even admitted I was in the acting business eventually, when she asked what I did. I found I really didn't want to lie to this woman. And that was when it finally clicked for her.

"Oh!" she said, her eyes widening. "Your last name's Masen, then?"

I nodded, feeling ashamed for some reason.

She got sad after that. And I didn't know why. That wasn't exactly the typical reaction I got. I was very _happy _I didn't get the typical reaction, but I found that that would've been preferable to a loss of enthusiasm in her side of the conversation. I tried making her laugh, and she would for a bit, but then she'd just retreat back inside her black hoodie.

At eleven, the shop keeper kicked us out.

"Will you be here tomorrow night?" I asked her, as I pulled my hood over my head.

"Huh?" she asked, surprised. "Oh, yeah. Why?"

I stared at her. "Well," I blushed. I was surprised she didn't know. "I thought we could talk some more, I guess...If you don't want me to come back that's fine." I laughed nervously. I'd never felt this nervous before. Not in front of cameras, nothing. "I guess I'm coming off a little stalkerish."

"No, no! That's fine," she said quickly. "I just didn't think...that you'd _want _to come back."

"Why?" I asked. It was my turn to be shocked.

She shrugged, looking down and scuffing her shoe on the ground. "Well..." she said slowly, uncomfortable. "I mean, you're famous. And I get stepped on because nobody notices me there. I just don't know_ why _you'd want to see me again. But, oh well. I'll see you tomorrow anyway I guess." She turned away and started walking, too fast for me to even unfreeze myself from the shock of her answer enough to grab her and shake her, and tell her how wrong she was.

Because she was special. I could tell that already. She was kind, she was selfless, she was alone without being lonely. She was funny, she was quirky, she was clever, she was weird. She was different. And when she left...something felt missing inside of me.

It was only on my walk home that I realized what was missing. When I'd been talking to her, I'd been _happy._ And I hadn't truly been _happy _in a long time. Content, maybe, I'd been okay. But not happy. _And_, on top of that, I'd felt happy while I was being _myself. _Not somebody else.

That hadn't happened in an even longer time.

This long missing feeling inside of me finally revealed the existence of it's hole, and it was killing me, waiting for it to be filled again.

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You must do the things you think you cannot do.

Eleanor Roosevelt

Her eyes fluttered closed, and she started to lean toward me. I gulped, but began to lean in as well. I had to. But it didn't feel right. About a centimeter away from her lips, I froze. I sat up abruptly instead, sighing.

Off to my left somewhere, I heard somebody else do the same thing.

"Cut!" yelled the director, and Tanya, my fellow lead, peeked one eye open. She shook here head exasperatedly, but laughed at the same time.

"What is it, Edward?" asked the director, leaving his position in the gloom behind the bright lights and walked onto the stage next to us, rubbing his forehead wearily. I didn't blame them. I'd been giving them hell for the past month or so.

Apparently, I looked too happy when I was supposed to be sad. I kept bursting out laughing during the middle of perfectly good, serious scenes that could've been completed right then; and I just _could not_ do a kissing scene. We'd held those off till the end, them trying to give me time to get myself together, but it still wasn't happening.

"It's obvious isn't?" Tanya smirked, tossing her strawberry blond hair over her shoulder. "Eddie-kins is in love."

I rolled my eyes and let out a big gust of air, leaning my weight onto one foot and looking away, crossing my arms. But I didn't dispute it. I was.

For the past month - hmm...funny how the timing for my increasingly bad acting seemed to coincide... - I'd been sneaking through the streets and meeting Bella at the same book store; same time every single night.

And we talked for hours. Sometimes we'd read books together out loud and laugh because they sounded so funny when spoken. Especially "romance" books, which were really just erotica under a different title. We'd gotten a real kick out of those. And other times, we would just sit at one of the tables on the second floor, talking about our lives, our thoughts. I had actually told her a little bit about my mother...just not the ending. Only that she died. Even _I _couldn't think about that bitter ending.

But still, I told her more than I'd ever told anybody in my life. She said she did the same thing; I smiled as I thought about how she blushed when she admitted that. She told me about her childhood, and how her parents split up. She lived with her mother, but _Bella _took care of _her_. And that she still worries about her sometimes, especially since Renée moved from Phoenix - which was right next to California and easy to get to quickly - to Florida: which was _not _easy or quick to get to. How she didn't really have that many friends, even now. But she had never come out and said that out loud - it was just something I'd picked up in context. I admired her way to be alone, and yet be isolated from any feelings of loneliness. She was self-pitiless, and selfless. She was a photographer. And she said she was working on an album that she was going to send to a Modeling Agency soon, seeing if she could get a job there. I asked her recently if I could see what she'd shot so far, but she'd gotten real shy and self-conscious. She had, however, taken a few pictures of me, when I wasn't expecting it. She said she liked the reality, but blushed when I pretended to glare at her. Ah god...that _blush_...

"What? An actor that doesn't like to be photographed?" she had laughed. Ah god...even more than the blush...that _laugh..._

"Edward!" said the director, snapping his fingers repeatedly. I snapped out of it quickly, startled, to find the director annoyed and Tanya giggling. I thought it was because I was in trouble, until I realized I had the biggest, most stupid grin on my face.

I tried wiping it off without much success.

"Yes sir?" I asked politely, hoping that he didn't think I was mocking him because of this stupid smile I couldn't seem to erase.

He opened his mouth, but then closed it, sighing. He glanced at his watch. "Alright everybody," he said wearily. "That's a wrap for tonight. We'll finish this tomorrow. Same time as usual people. Have a nice night."

I mentally cheered and rushed away to make-up removal, and to grab my jacket. Tanya walked up to me as I was removing the foundation.

"So Edward," she grinned, leaning against the mirror attached to the table. "Who's the lucky lady?"

"No one you know," I said offhandedly. I really didn't mind Tanya. She was a nice person, a good friend. She was rather nosy though. But then, she'd informed me that that was common in the human species: curiosity.

She rolled her eyes. "Obviously. But what's her name?"

I hesitated a moment before giving in. "Bella," I told her, and a smile formed on my lips without my direct permission for it to do so.

Her grin softened at that, into a tender smile.

"Bella..." she said slowly, trying it around on her tongue. "That's pretty."

"It fits her," I agreed, throwing down the cloth and shrugging on my gray hoodie.

She said nothing more and I began to walk away, trying to calm myself from running. It was almost eight - the usual time to meet Bella. I was at the door when she called to me, "It's good to finally see you happy Edward. Thank your girlfriend for me."

I paused for a few long moments, before finally turning to face her. "She's...not exactly my girlfriend," I confessed, a pull to my lips. Oh how I wished.

Tanya's eyes widened, before they turned sympathetic. "Oh...does she have a boyfriend already?"

I grimaced. "No. She's single."

She looked confused now. "Then what's the problem? Why aren't you two an item?"

I shrugged, keeping my eyes glued on the floor. "I don't know," I whispered. "I'm scared, I guess? That she won't feel the same way."

Tanya rolled her eyes. "Well she's stupid then," she said pointedly. "But I doubt that. Listen to me Edward, and listen good. The things in this world worth having aren't easy to obtain. You have to make an effort. A sacrifice. A _chance_. This girl got pretty much handed to you - are you just going to sit there and not grab on to her?"

I stared at her silently for a few moments. "Thank you," I whispered. Then I turned on my heel and I ran. But for the first time in my life, it wasn't away.

I had something to run towards.

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* * *

_

One word cures us of all the weight and pain of life:

_That word is love._

Sophocles

"Bella," I gasped, skidding to a halt in front of her, just as she was about to open the door of the book store. I leaned on my knees, panting, looking up to see her wide-eyed, shocked gaze.

"Why were you running?" she asked, confused.

"Bella," I gasped. "Can we go to my place tonight? I want to tell you something. And I really don't want to say it in a book store."

"Sure," she agreed, still surprised, and I grabbed her hand, leading her down the street. As it turned out, this place wasn't too far from my own place, on the outskirts of Hollywood. I mentally kicked myself when I found out: why hadn't I discovered that miraculous little book store sooner?

When we got to my pent house, I shut the door and led her over to the couch. I wondered briefly if I was scaring her - I hadn't really talked to her yet, I'd dragged her to my house, and I felt flushed, my eyes bright. But she didn't look afraid as she sat down. She just still looked a little surprised.

"Bella," I breathed, taking her hands in my own. "I want to tell you about what happened between me and my mother."

Her eyes widened. "Oh Edward, you don't have to," she said quickly. "I know that's really personal for you and - "

"Exactly," I said feverishly. "Exactly. Just listen please..."

"I went back to Chicago two years after I left it. The guilt had gotten too bad, and I realized how stupid, how selfish I'd been, just abandoning her like that. So I went back. I went back to the house where we lived, but she wasn't there. I thought she moved, but eventually, I found out that she was in the hospital.

"So I went. And I learned that she'd been having failing health for the past two years anyway, and probably wasn't going to be able to make it this time. I went in to see her, and I remember how...how _fragile _she looked. Her hair had gotten much whiter than it should've been, her face hollowed out. I sat there while she slept, realizing that this was my fault. All of it."

Bella opened her mouth to interrupt me, but I put my hand over it. She closed it, and I continued.

"She woke up, and when she saw me...she looked so relieved. So happy. It was like a different woman was looking at me. And I really knew, could really see, how much I had hurt her, if that was her reaction. She talked to me for a while, and I just sat there listening - anything to make up for what I had done. She started getting tired, and her talking slowed. I decided that was probably the best time to apologize. And I started to, but by the time I was finished, I realized that she'd been asleep the whole time.

"...She never woke up again. Her heart failed during the night. She never heard me. She died thinking that I came back out of some...some...some preconceived duty; and not because I cared, because I loved her, because I was sorry for everything."

I stopped there and there was silence while I studied Bella's hand in mine. "Edward..." she whispered.

I looked up to see tears in her eyes. "For so long," I went on, "I've been haunted by that. And it's...it's scared me more than anything. It's made me scared to get close to anybody, to be myself. I haven't been happy in a long time...

"But you changed that Bella," I went on fervently. "You changed everything. I'm happy again, for the first time in what feels like forever. When I'm around you, I can be myself, and be _happy _with that. You make me want to be close, to open up, to tell you everything; to take a chance because you...you're the best thing that ever happened to me."

I took her face into my hands, staring intently into her widened eyes. "I love you Bella," I whispered. "I love you."

Her tears spilled over and then she was sobbing into my neck, flinging her arms around me. "I love you too Edward," she said, and my heart swelled, a warmth flooding through me. "I love you so much. I don't want you to be sad. And I don't want to be alone anymore."

"Never," I vowed, pulling her face back some. I wiped the tears off of her face and she laughed shakily.

"Sorry," she breathed, wiping her tears too. "I know these are bad timing."

I smiled at her, and leaned forward to capture her lips in my own.

She tasted better than I had ever imagined - and I had imagined a _lot_. Sweet and decadent, she molded herself to me, her lips moving and responding to my own. She was so impossibly soft...so impossibly gorgeous. When I opened my eyes, I could still see tears clinging to her thick black lashes, making her look like a fallen angel, and bringing out an intense protective side of me.

She should never be alone. She should never feel lonely. She didn't deserve it.

I laid her back softly on the couch, tilting my head for better access to her lips. She sighed contently, opening her mouth in the process, and I took the opportunity to snake my tongue into her mouth.

Oh god...she tasted so fucking _good_.

"Edward," she moaned, burying her fingers in my hair, her nails scraping my scalp. I almost wanted to pinch myself, because this seemed _exactly _the same as the dream I'd been having every night for the past month.

I broke away from her mouth, panting, but refused to allow my lips to leave her skin. I was extremely…turned on. But nervous. I'd never made love to a woman before. There was no one that I really liked in high school, and then there was everything with my mom…it'd just never been an interest before now.

But, Bella had changed everything, as I'd told her prior.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" I whispered against the column of her neck, nibbling on her jugular vein. She made a strange noise, like a choked gurgle. Call me hopeless, but it actually turned me on even _more_. My pants were uncomfortably tight. That hadn't happened in forever. I squirmed, and her hips wiggled in time automatically.

"Yes," she breathed, tugging my hair and bringing my lips back down upon her own. "God yes…I've never done this before though," she admitted, her nervous tone impeded by the lust in her voice as she kissed my mouth repeatedly.

"Neither have I," I murmured back, before I stood, picking her up with me, and carrying her to my bedroom. I kicked the door shut on my way in as she sucked on my neck, and I groaned, dropping her on the bed.

"You're going to be the death of me," I muttered huskily to her as I kissed to the top of her tank top, one speck of a centimeter away from revealing some beautiful cleavage. I sucked on the revealed swell of one rapidly rising and falling breast, amazed and blown away at the taste, the softness, the decadence, _everything_.

"Edward," she whimpered, and my manhood pretty much turned to rock. "Edward, _please_, go faster."

I smirked against her skin. "No love," I murmured to her, pushing her hoodie off. "I want to take my time with you."

She sat up some as I grabbed the bottom of her top and pulled it over her head. She laid back down as I tossed it elsewhere. My nostrils flared as I took her in. She was braless.

"It's not fair," she panted, moving to sit up on her elbows. I felt so rude, but I just couldn't take my eyes off her perfect chest. Her breasts were not large, but they weren't tiny either. They were full, and looked like they would fill my hand quite nicely; like they were made just for me. I shivered a bit at the thought.

"What's not fair?" I said lowly. I recognized that my noises were taking on an animalistic feel, but I couldn't help it.

"You're still fully dressed," she grinned, and sat up. From where I was straddling her hips, she was pressed taunt against me as she sat up, not able to even sit up all the way. She helped me take my own jacket off, and my shirt went next as well. I laid back down with her, feeling her bare breasts against my shirtless chest, her hardened nipples pressed against me.

I kissed her roughly, dominating her tongue with my own. Honestly, she didn't put up that much of a fight. My hands slid from her smooth shoulders down the silky skin of her arms, before moving over to cup the supple flesh of her breasts.

Oh god…I'd been right. They fit _perfectly._

We both moaned and broke our mouths away at the same time. Bella gasped as well, arching her back into me. I needed to taste her; badly.

I started kissing down her neck again, still kneading her chest. Curious, I removed most of my hand, excluding my thumb and index finger, and allowed those to trail to her nipple, pinching it in my fingers and pulling lightly.

Bella cried out, bucking against me. "Oh god…" she whimpered. "Edward…"

I'd never felt more like a man than I did then.

Grinning, I trailed my mouth over her skin, before sucking her nipple into my mouth. I laved it with my tongue, still palming her other breast. Women didn't realize how lucky they were to have these things. I knew, after this, it would be hard for me to refrain from touching these exquisite beauties, no matter where we were.

Bella's hands had gone back to tangle in my hair again, and when I bit down lightly on her nipple, she screamed and yanked it so roughly I'm sure I felt a few hairs depart my scalp. Strangely enough, that really turned me on.

"Mmm…" I hummed, smirking. "So Bella likes it rough, does she?" I murmured, breaking away from her too-tempting chest to start trailing a line of kisses down her smooth, flat stomach.

She laughed a little bit, sounding breathless, as her hands moved to my shoulders. "What can I say?" she giggled. "I've always been curious if I could leave scratches down someone's back."

I stiffened at her words right above the line of her jeans, before I growled. Imagining the state she had to be in to do that to someone had me wanting to just skip the foreplay and get to it later. I wanted to be inside of her _now_.

"Well, you can't do it to _someone_," I growled. "But by all means…_I'm_ a willing candidate."

She giggled, which quickly turned to a scream as I bit her center through her jeans. I knew it didn't hurt - the material was too thick for that. But she could feel it.

"Edward…" she moaned. "Oh god, more, please…"

I couldn't deny her anything. I quickly unbuttoned my jeans and kicked them off, before moving to do the same thing to her. It didn't take me long to notice that her underwear were of the boyshort HP variety; I absolutely loved it. I grinned widely.

Bella noticed too, and she propped herself up, blushing as her face turned indignant. "Well," she said defensively. "I wasn't exactly expecting to declare myself tonight and make love with you! Give me a break."

I took the band of her underwear in my teeth and started to drag them slowly down, making sure to breathe out on her center when I passed it. She took in a gasping breath. "_More_, Edward, _go faster_."

I smirked. "I can't," I told her. "Obviously, I'm not doing my job right if you can still form coherent sentences."

She let out a growl of frustration as I suckled on the skin of her inner thigh, close but still too far away from her sex. Her arousal was evident in the air, and it smelled heavenly…I was so close to snapping and just burying my mouth and nose in her, breathing in that mouth-watering scent, and seeing what it tasted like.

Ah, what the hell.

I kissed the lips of her core, feeling how wet she already was. She gasped and screamed as she bucked her hips into my face, and I groaned. "You're so wet…" I breathed, before moving in for another taste, dragging my tongue from the bottom of her slit all the way to the top. I plunged my tongue into her, the combined factors of her amazing taste and the delicious noises coming out of her mouth were making me feel deliriously drunk.

I gripped her hips to keep her relatively still as I sucked, trying to draw as many of her juices as I could into my mouth. I could drink her all day, and never tire of it. I fully planned on trying that sometime.

At the urging of her cries and mewls, I moved my thumb to her clit, rubbing it. This procured the loudest scream yet, and I just couldn't wait any longer.

Ripping my boxers from myself, I crawled back onto her, feeling my hardness nestled in the supple skin of her thighs.

"Edward," she moaned throatily. "Please, let me feel you…"

I groaned as I dropped my head to kiss her lips. She wrapped her arms around my neck as I positioned myself. "You ready?" I whispered. She just kissed me again.

Slowly, I started to slide inside. It was taking everything I had to not just plunge in recklessly. "Oh god, Bella, you're so _tight_," I growled against the skin of her neck.

"That's…good?" she groaned, her words slurred.

"Yes," I gasped into her skin. "Oh god, yes…"

I slid in until I could feel the restriction of her barrier. She took a deep breath and I kissed her deeply to distract her. I thrusted my hips forward, breaking her virginity in one fell swoop. She whimpered a little, but mostly just kept kissing me.

"I love you," I whispered adoringly to her, completely awed to be buried this deep inside the most wonderful woman in the world. She was just like heaven.

"I love you too," she murmured back, before rocking her hips slightly, telling me it was okay to go.

Cautiously, I pulled out before thrusting back inside. Her back arched and we groaned simultaneously.

Her extreme wetness made sliding in and out unbelievably easy. As time went on, I started thrusting harder, enjoying the feel of her walls clamping down on me sporadically, and of the luscious sounds she made. I full intended on memorizing what touches made her react in what way.

"Harder," she screamed. "Faster!"

Who was I to say no? With a animalistic snarl, I pulled out only to thrust in as hard as I could, hitting her very depths and making us both scream. Hurriedly, I did it again, needing that feeling again. My hips rocked, undulating, getting as close to her as I could.

She wrapped her legs around my waist, and my penetration went even deeper. She moved her hips in a circular motion as I thrusted in and out, rubbing against my balls and making me hiss, tilting my hips to stimulate her clit.

I was so close. I wanted her to go over the edge first though. I took one hand and trailed it down her body, reaching her clit and rubbing.

She shrieked, and her fingers started clawing my back, creating scratches as promised. I was so overwhelmed with desire and pleasure I could barely keep my head up, instead resting it near her ear, breathing heavily and whispering occasionally.

"Do you like that?" I breathed. "Do you want me to rub harder?"

"God…fuck!" she screamed. "_Yes!_"

I'd never heard her curse before. And that was enough to send me over the edge. With one last powerful thrust I took her with me, both of us crying out as we hit our release. Warmth over flooded me as her juices practically _pooled _on my dick. It was enough to make even the strongest man insane.

I collapsed, too overwhelmed and shaking to even move off of her, though it struck me I should.

"I'm sorry," I chuckled tiredly, my voice deeper than normal. "I know I'm crushing you."

"No," she murmured, keeping her arms and legs wrapped around me. I was still inside of her and I didn't want to leave, didn't want that feeling of disconnection. "I like it."

I laughed weakly, and forced myself to exit her, tumbling to the side and pulling her on top of me, yanking the covers up over the both of us.

She closed her eyes, and rested her head on my chest. Her face was still shiny with sweat, her whole body glistening. Her lips were full and swollen, the edges tilted up in a content smile. Her hair was matted with sweat where it stuck to her face, but the rest of it billowed like a halo around her.

"You're beautiful," I whispered to her, trailing a hand softly up and down her back.

She giggled a little, the sound throaty. "And that, Mr. Masen, is where you have it backwards." She yawned and snuggled deeper into me. "You'll be here when I wake up, right?" she whispered, her voice sounding exhausted. I grinned, pleased with myself.

"Depends on when you get up," I murmured, burying my face in her hair. "I still have work tomorrow."

Her smile widened. "Oh yeah, Mr. Super Star. I forgot. You have to go make countless women swoon."

I smiled softly. "You're all I care about, though," I told her quietly, stroking her hair.

She fell asleep quickly, but all I could do was stare at her. This angel who had saved me.

My dreams were more pleasant that usual. In them, I knew that things could be okay again.

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I'm forgiving what I've done.

"**What I've Done" **by Linkin Park

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The first of many one-shots I have planned for this contest. I didn't mean for it to be this long, but the idea just took me.

**Review please!**

**And vote for me when voting starts XD**

**- The Romanticidal Edwardian**


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